It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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