Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
BRING THE BAGELS
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
