She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
