My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I haven't been this sober since birth.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
