Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
