Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
