ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
