My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
