She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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