when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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