a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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