Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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