I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
