Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
