Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
