Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
