I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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