this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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