You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
