I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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