you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
