we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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