Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
