Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
