I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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