The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
