gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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