It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
