Do you still have your period?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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