i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
