physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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