I'm going to jail i love you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
