It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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