After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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