you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
