I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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