so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
