dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
