I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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