How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
