just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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