Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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