do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
