well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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