how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
