We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm passing your future prison.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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