if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize