I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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