I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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