it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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