What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
