I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Panties = found
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize