Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
