After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
