and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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