Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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