break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
