Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
